Today I am focusing on that all important routine that any parent goes through. This blog is not just aimed at those with children who have a disability or learning difficulties. This is aimed at all parents.
I, as you may have read have four daughters. Each one as unique and in my eyes as perfect as the next one. I don’t go in for favouritism of any kind and I try to spread my self as far as possible to enable all my girls a part of me. This is defiantly true of bedtimes.
Where am I going with this you may ask. Well since learning indian head massage and story massage I have learnt to trust in the power of positive touch. Children need that connection with their parents. They also need to feel relaxed. It can bring whole families together.
In india massage is an integral part of their daily lives then why not here as well. Massage is very adaptable. It does not have to practised using a couch or a chair a child can sit anywhere. For those who’s children are disabled and unable to move around freely it can be adapted easily for instance my youngest loves Incy Wincy spider up her arm. Story massage is very interactive and it can be shared as a group. My children all sit in a row and love participating in the stories.
Story massage is very much geared to empowering the individual receiving it. They can have an active role and be in charge of what feels good and what does not. Its very much client led. This is also true of indian head massage.
So at bedtime do you ever get the ‘no it isn’t’ said with a grin on their face when bedtime is mentioned?
Do you have to contend with mostly shouting and screaming when that word crops up? Or how about one of my favourites ‘in a minute’?
Should we expect children just to drop everything they were doing at the time and march silently to bed?
That would not work in my house. Children need time to wind down. To accept that the day is coming to an end. for this purpose I tell my children ten minutes before I take them upstairs that its bedtime. I also remind them about their story massage.
My daughter who has ADHD has a very set routine. As other parents would agree this makes the whole of family life totter along that little bit easier. We sit down to tea and then its playtime for about half an hour before I then say the dreaded bedtime word. before this would have been accompanied by shouts arguments and the dragging of feet. Now since integrating story massage into the bedtime routine we have had approximately 2 weeks of easier bedtimes. The key with story massage is finding a story or nursry rhyme that they like. There is lots on the website http://www.storymassage.co.uk or like us you can make them up. Below is a story my daughter and I made up together.
We have now been using this story for over a week and she loves it. She loves that the story is about her and that she helped to make it.
Sleep in our house use to be an issue. You see due to one of my daughter’s not producing enough melatonin she has to have medication at night to help her sleep. Like most parents who go through the same thing we only have a sort window of opportunity for the medication to work its magic and helps her to sleep. If she was fretting about something or worried and upset or if the bedtime routine is disturbed at all this can mean we are up all night as there is no second dose. our daughter would not sleep. Since finding massage bedtime and nights have been a lot better. Massage helps her to relax which then helps her to fall asleep as it means she is not fighting the effects of the medication.
Its horrible having to give my daughter medication. Some days I still don’t accept that she cant not have it. We have tried several times since the diagnosises to take her of any medication but it puts so much pressure on home life. With her short term memory loss ADHD asd ocd family life can become strained. I feel sometimes like I am walking on egg shells.
For us story massage at bedtimes has so far given us no tantrums and no crying. My daughters moods also seem to have improved. If she is feeling out of place or scared then we can sit and sing nursery rhymes alongside the massage moves. This makes a huge difference in stressful situations which can be quite frequent due to the ADHD etc.
so in a nut shell my youngest two aged 9 and 5 are more likely to go to bed at night with out crying and shouting etc.. because everynight they now have a story (like they always did) that is made just for them. One of my daughters said it makes her feel special and my youngest just loves that I say her name in the story 🙂 and they both love that its accompanied with a relaxing soothing massage.
So massage is beneficial. There is so much research online and books written by professionals all telling us that positive touch works and as a mother I am in total and utter agreement, its defiantly worth a go.
Try a massage for yourself if you are not sure how your child would benefit, or do what I did and research into it.
I am always around if you would like a chat or to know more
mumsy mum of four