I have not written for a while. It’s not that I haven’t tried I have a few drafts on the go but don’t seem to beable to finish them. The last couple of weeks have been really hard. Easter holidays were a wash out. If it wasn’t the children being ill it was me. Illness for me tends to happen the same time every year 🤔 very strange but there I was laid up in bed for nearly a week having to rely on husband and family to help me look after the children and it made me think!! I need some super powers!!!
Do you find it hard asking for help?
I do strange as it may seem I don’t even like asking the husband. I tend to feel that as a mother it’s my job and I should be like some sort of super mum with special powers. Bottom line is I am no super hero. Just a normal everyday mum like you. I don’t have magic powers if I did I would take away my daughters ADD and deafness. If I had special powers my house would always be clean and tidy, the garden would look amazing, the ironing pile wouldn’t gain in height everyday. Homemade meals would be cooked everyday, my children would make it out the door with their hair brushed, hearing aids wouldn’t go missing, reading records would get filled in.
Most days I don’t even get to make my own bed or have breakfast or even get my socks on. It’s all go from the minute my ADD daughter is awake. It’s like a switch has been flipped although most mornings she is awake long before I am it’s not until we start our morning routine that things start to become stressful and making my bed is the least of my worries. The other three girls tend to be self sufficient now and other than me shouting wether we have 30 minutes until we leave it 5minutes they are able to dress and get breakfast mostly without issue. My ADD daughter is a whole different ball game. Argumentative, sneaky 😳, anxious. She can’t, won’t eat, she fights me at every turn. Plus lately her feet are falling of, she has tummy ache and can’t go to school. She can of course if I really thought she was ill she would be at the doctors but as a parent using your intuition is a staple of the day.
You have to prioritise!!
You can’t do everything, be everywhere even if you wanted to be. That goes for any parent. All we can all do is try our best, do the best for our children and make sure that they are happy. Easter Sunday we had chocolate eggs in bed as no one was feeling particularly up for anything else more energetic. Who cares am I a bad parent for letting them eat eggs for breakfast? Am I a bad influence for joining them and eating my Easter egg with them? No I am not!!!! It’s a once a year treat and after such a grotty Easter holiday that followed I am glad they at least had that much fun. If it’s a particularly stressful day is sausage and chips such a bad meal combination? No you can’t cook from scratch everyday cut yourself some slack.
For me on a school day as long as I have clothes on and my teeth are brush other stuff like my hair just had to wait until the school run is done. It’s more important for me to get the children dressed, breakfasted and to school on time. That’s another quirk of mine if I am late for anything I see it as a failing. I have to be on time for everything. Being late for school is a no no. If we are running late I feel sick and I start to feel anxious. In a way I suppose I need people to see that I am coping and that I can do my job as a mother. By being on time at least people think I am fine ☺️ even with crazy hair and no make up!!!
When it’s the holidays the whole plan goes completely out the window. There’s no routine. We try to plan outings and play dates so that we have something to work towards. I also find that I have to plan things for mornings and try and get out the house first thing. My children are so much better if I get them out first thing. This wasn’t possible while ill so I felt terrible on top because they spent the Easter holidays cooped up. Our daughter with ADD struggled the most. She couldn’t cope with staying in and not having anything to do. This caused upset and arguments. She found it hard to understand why we couldn’t go out. She called me selfish and mean because I was ill. At the time this upset me. All children have an uncanny ability to make us parents feel bad I think in their own way. We strive to make them happy, keep them healthy and sometimes it can feel like it’s not good enough. They are tough days but you manage, you find a way to cope. If we feel like we are failing it’s because we are human, parents raising the next generation disabled or not. The moral I suppose is don’t be to hard on yourself. We can’t have great days everyday, how boring would that be? Life’s ups and downs make us stronger, they test us but being a parent is the most rewarding thing ever especially when your ADD daughter says
Thank you mummy for letting me do some painting I have tidied up in there are you better now it shall I go get you a drink?
Needless to say there was paint all over but her artwork was lovely 😘
X Leanne x