Life in this house is always interesting to say the least. Living never mind raising four daughters is a challenge I am slowly finding harder each day. Living with ADD and hearing loss new days bring forth new challenges. Life is never boring…..
This week was a good week. Good for us means no major meltdowns just minor meltdowns, small irritations. No furniture thrown, arguements that are easily defused with a “get outside and play” as the weather has improved, Louisa moving up a level on Lexia reading core 5 ( a reading programme readily available for children helping to spell ect) which is quite momentous for her and a proud mummy moment. Taking medication when asked, eating as much of their tea as they can, not waking as much in the night and a week of generally finding it easier to be a mum rather than a sergeant major bellowing orders at his recruits.
How many of you find that shouting at your children has no real effect? Me I can shout till I feel my throat getting sore, my hands start to tingle, my face goes red and still my state of agitation has no effect on my children. One will just stand and scream back at me, one will either scream at me or become anxious depending on wether she is medicated at the time. The other two have a mild/moderate hearing loss so they just laugh at me and take of their hearing aids and say they can’t hear me 😡 as an adult I am suppose to rise above all of this behaviour but how? I admit I bellow, I shout really loud as my daughter wrote in her recent Mother’s Day story massage poem (www.storymassage.co.uk)
My Super Mum by Charlotte, aged 11
My mum is like Super Mum, (The Circle)
always there when I need her. (The Circle)
She appears like a ninja all ready to help, (The Upwards Fan)
and swoops into save me when I’m feeling lost. (The Downwards Fan)
My mum is a Super Mum, a Super Mum she is (The Circle)
She sorts out my problems and listens to me (The Calm)
She shows me she cares, she makes me so happy (The Squeeze)
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. (The Squeeze)
But sometimes I am naughty (The Drum)
Super Mum can shout – very loud (The Drum)
She tells me to be good, to be kind. (The Calm)
I want to grow up to be just like my Super Mum (The Circle)
My Super Mum brings magic and excitement (the Bounce)
I know how much she cares, she shows me everyday (The Circle)
So I wrote this for you, Mum (The Circle)
To show you how much I care. (The Calm)
Alas this week my temper has been kept in check. The sun has been out so the kids can play in the garden. We are not all cooped up inside which helps. Some days I really wish I could afford a bigger house so they had more space…maybe in the future. I have still felt frustrated at the beginning of the day but that’s normal right? The school morning routine is not for the faint hearted. I think for us parenst its the most stressful part of our day. I salute any mums that manage to put make up on and brush their hair before the school run ( my sister never leaves the house with out makeup 😘) I just can’t…… I always run out of time I am lucky if I don’t leave the house wearing slippers!!!!
With Four kids to get up, dressed, breakfast, lunches ready, school bags, medication, hearing aids, school letters……. It’s no wonder my youngest sometimes goes to school looking like she has been dragged through a bush backwards. Seriously that hair it gets matted and I am such a bad mum for yanking it into pig tails to hide it 😳 You know what though it’s not that I don’t care it’s just sometimes there are more important things to worry about. As long as they have everything they need, the three of them have their hearing aids so they can access language and learning and have eaten and are at school on time what does it matter if one has odd socks? One hasn’t brushed their hair? Ones in trainers and another is in leggings which is not school uniform!!! And oh shit they have nail varnish on does that make me a bad parent. I hope not lol.
It’s also that time of year when the six weeks holidays are looming. They have one week of at the end of the month then the real count down will start. Watch out for future crazy mum blogs…….
It’s been SATS week this week as well. Worry and stress have been a huge part of year 6’s here in England for months now with so much prep work and mock tests. With a little bit of massage and relaxation and a small amount of patience we have managed to get our 11 year old through. Massage really was the key to helping her calm down and relax while refocusing her and helping her concentration. To put preteens through this much stress for pretty much no real reason I can fathom as a parent is silly. I found it stressful. Trying to keep a lid on my 11 year olds potentially explosive behaviour is hard. She’s the odd one out as she calls herself as she has no hearing loss unlike her sisters. She finds it hard to cope with her sisters challenging behaviour associated with ADD. I wonder if my eldest better understands due to her hearing loss? Don’t know maybe that’s something I will look into. I did It though. We got to school 10 minutes earlier as asked in a newsletter. The SATS are now over for this year…… Next one to sit SATS next year is Louisa.
I have been a mean mum this week though. Do you ever get to the point where even though the kids have been at school all day you need them to go to bed? I have felt like that. In fact that might explain why this week has been better. The kids have all been in bed and asleep by 8.pm. Even the elder two which gets me thinking that they must have been tired otherwise they wouldn’t have slept. They did moan and groan at me and I had some it’s not fairs, your stupid mum, but I am not tired but no where near the amount of protesting that I would have normally gotten. Next week they will be back on form and resisting at every turn just as children do but it’s been calmer and they have been better behaved.
We had a hearing aid overhaul this week as well. 3 X 2 hearing aids to be cleaned and retubed. That’s always a fun job especially when the children Spring it on me 10 minutes before leaving the house. Quick mum can you just…. Why didn’t we do this last night? Erm chances are they asked last night and I properly said I will do it later as I was busy and later then transpires into the next morning… Sound familiar? Anyway they were sorted and we were out the door no later than needed which was good.
Although a better week the hormones have started in our house this week. With two so close in age (11,12) the tempers are flared. The husband is already prepping his man shed to save himself from the wrath of four girls but sometimes there’s no getting away from them. As a mum I think I need a mum shed!!!! Somewhere that I can escape to although knowing my luck they would be at the door banging and shouting much like they still do when I go to the toilet. Yes even aged 12,11,9 and 6 I can not go to the toilet in peace. I try to time it when they are busy but you can guarantee as soon as I sit down “MUM?..” 😫
How our daughter who is 10 (ADD) will cope when these changes start I don’t know. Not looking forward to that time at all. As with all things though I shall try and work through it and learn ways to cope. Luckily massage is already such an intergrated part of our family life that when all else fails I can use massage to relax and promote a calmer atmosphere. Just wish I could do a massage on myself some days although with story massage the children love giving mummy a massage 😊 and to hear them making up their own songs or using the language skills that in the case of hearing loss and ADD took so long to come to the fore front I just love hearing them use language and sing.
This week has been rather an unusual one in that here we are on Saturday morning and I feel able to write. The children are playing happily having been up since 5am. The peace won’t last for long but I savour it while it’s here.
As always any comments gratefully recieved. Remember you are not alone
X Leanne x