It’s a Snow Day for Anxiety…..Yippee

How wonderful…… its an unplanned day off school yippee

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Or not as the case may be for parents who like me are not only struggling with outburst’s, bad moods and just the usual stress of having having children at home with a disruption to their routine but also a child who has Anxiety.  My daughter can have feeling’s of:

  • restless
  • on edge,
  • irritable,
  • feeling sick,
  • mood swings,
  • tummy ache
  • headaches

These symptoms can affect my daughter in addition to her ADHD.  L get’s worried about going to school or in the case of a snow day not going to school. Anxiety can affect a persons relationships with those around them and this affects our family quite badly as L’s anxiety then rubs of on her sister’s and causes tension and strife.

Having children who do not do well to a change in routine can be so bloody stressful, everything has to be planned and written down and two of my girls just can not cope if something changes. Its not like I can even fully prepare them for a snow day, the weather forecast is never foolproof and more often than not forecasted snow misses us, But not today…..

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So yes the news has been forecasting the weather, talking about the “The Beast from the East” for the past few days at least, the kids have been asking Alexa when the snow will arrive and while there is definitely an element of excitement at having proper snow there is also the constant questions ‘what if we can’t get out mum?’ ‘when will we go back to school?’ ‘how long will the snow be here?’  For most this wouldn’t cause upset but having a child that feels anxiety no matter how much I try to prepare them just makes a snow day a headache day for me. So much so I just want to go and hide under the cover’s and shut the curtains and pretend there is nothing going on.

You may judge me for it, call me a Scrooge, a misery but yes when its a school week I would much rather that my children were in school and not just because it’s easier, less stressful but because its routine. They know what they are doing, when they are doing it and how their day will pan out. Having unplanned days off especially in the middle of the week can be upsetting and confusing for them. They want to be in school with friends but they also want to be at home playing in the snow. They can become worried about family and friends who are out driving in the snow, They become over worried about pet’s. Eventually as the day draws on they become irritable and angry with themselves and others in the house. Having 4 children with different needs is interesting to say the least when confined to the house (which is a little on the small side).

So there was me this morning becoming emotional at my husband as he was getting ready to attempt the drive into work while I was on the bloody website this morning from 6am constantly checking the school closures hitting the refresh button while constantly being asked “am I gong to school?”. I can honestly say I was hoping that our’s  would open, alas it wasn’t to be and at 7 am this morning the girls were hooting and hollering because they were having a day off while I pulled the duvet up and cried.

The funny thing is that we soon slip into a sort of weekend routine where by the kids have breakfast, get dressed, scream at each other, then make up before getting ready to be out of the house at 8.30am in the snow. For me on a snow day I get 30 minutes of fun running around in the snow before I am left with the bedlam of great drafts of wind whistling through the house due to open door’s, wet clothing and puddles in the house, clothing changes every 20 minutes due to be wet and cold and thats before they then come back in again and are bored, yelling at each other and me.

I love the snow, I love as a grown up being able to watch the snowflakes and as a mum listening to the shrieks of laughter from my girls. What I hate is the extra challenges that our family faces even in the face of just having fun.

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Fun before the Bedlam (LeanneBrown)

 

Have fun in the snow, stay safe, stay sane

xx Leanne xx

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How can you Best Prepare for a Hospital Operation?……You, Me and ADHD

How do you prepare your child with ADHD and Hearing loss for a visit to the hospital for an operation?

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This has always been one of my biggest worries while raising my daughter’s. L who has  ADHD and Hearing loss lives daily with symptoms of memory problem’s, understanding, concentration, then there’s her limited ability for reasoning, awareness of herself and her surroundings, Anxiety, Tick’s and just plain old fear of the unknown.

She is in Freak out mode…..

Having had an operation for Grommets when she was 2 years old our daughter although no stranger to the hospital has never actually stayed in or undergone any other procedures since she was 2. So now she is worrying and her anxiety levels are through the roof. Cue major meltdown’s, tantrum’s, tear’s, shouting, irritability and unable to sleep. Basically what we go through every day just now heightened to major proportions. so we have come up with a plan.

  • To talk about the operation as much as possible – whats happening, how they will do it, how long it will take, where she will be. This has meant a lot of research on my behalf watching online medical procedures yuck!!! so I can talk her through it.
  • Reassure – trying not to get annoyed by the amount of questions being asked, the outbursts and trying not to loose my temper after repeating the same sentence about 20 times
  • Hospital pre op visit – we had this yesterday and I made sure that she had lots of chances to ask question’s , see the ward and I also wrote down everything the play specialist said so that we can go over it again at home
  • At the outset I said that she could have a new teddy who could go to hospital with her. she keeps asking for it now but with another 2 weeks until the big day I am holding off relinquishing it.
  •  Keep her mind focused on something other than the operation. Am sure the bribes will start soon about how she will go if she can have this or I’m not going unless I get this but i’ll just stand my ground as come the morning she has forgotten her demands of the previous day.
  • Keep daily life as normal as possible – no sudden changes, no surprises, everyday is planned and written down to give L some control over what is happening.

As mentioned  anxiety levels have been increasing steadily for a few months. Hospital appointments over and done its been really important to write everything down and try and explain whats happening to L as much as possible. Even so there is no fool proof plan. Anxiety for a child can be a formidable opponent affecting every aspect of their life. Our daughter struggles with anxiety on a daily basis and it can manifest itself in any situation from what to have for breakfast, to whats happening after school to how we spend our weekend’s. Everyday has to be planned and written and fingers crossed that plans don’t change.

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The mental, emotional and physical effects of anxiety can be really difficult for our daughter and its hard as a family living with someone who has this condition. Going for an operation has really ramped up these feeling’s and just today I was receiving text messages about how sick she felt and how she had a headache. At times like this I try to be supportive, but also hard in a way as I don’t want Anxiety to be a ruling factor in her life. I send her love and tell her that she is ok and once she has these she seem’s to feel a little better and the monster’s lie sleeping till sometime.

The next few week’s are going to be really difficult for all of us, especially L. Will keep you posted

xx Leanne xx