Routine….Where’s the Spontaneity in That?

Routines

Routine for us as a family is the basically the difference between a good day and a bad day.  There is no flexibility, there is no common ground, its the routine or the highway as far as I am concerned.

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Helping to cook encourages eating

Routine is such an important part of my daughter’s life, from the way she sets about her morning to how she copes with planned events, holidays and general everyday life. Without a routine my daughter can be left feeling bereft and disjointed in an already confusing and sometimes overwhelming world that she lives in. Being able to do anything in a way that helps her to stay connected to the rest of the family can mean the difference between her being happy and contented to being frustrated and generally unable to cope. Trying to balance this need for routine with three other children can at times cause strife and I am on lots of occasions accused of favouritism, but this is not the case. As children they do not see the struggle it is to try and keep everyone on an even keel. Having your life to an extent ruled by routine is difficult and frustrating but having a daughter with ADHD means she struggles with memory problems, impulsiveness, concentration and being able to adhere to a routine can mean the difference between her being able to function or having that meltdown that all parents dread.

In some form or another we all have a routine of some kind in our daily lives. From how we get ready for the day to how we move through it and how we end it. For me routine starts when I open my eyes getting my self ready and the girls all ready for the day ahead takes the same form everyday

  • wake up then wake the girls up
  • washed and dressed
  • breakfast
  • hearing aids in, hair brushed
  • coat and shoes on bags on

If I have managed to get the children all ready to go by 8.20am its a good day and means that having a routine in place has worked even if for me it feel’s like I have crammed a weeks worth of stress into 2 hours.
Never let it be said that the job of a mum or dad is easy. First thing in the morning until the children are all safely behind the school doors is the most stressful time of my day. Four children each trying to go about their own varying routines while co habituating in a small house brings that sense of cold fear when I open my eyes. There are days when I just want to bury myself under the duvet and pretend that I have no responsibilities, no reason to wake up and get going.
Having a young family is not all plain sailing even when you have great well thought, well meaning routines in place. This is never more apparent than in the school holidays. The effects of not having a routine during holiday’s is amplified because my daughter with ADHD relies so heavily on a routine and of course when there is no school day which is structured this can cause Anxiety and panic, a whole lot of shouting, fighting and stress for the children as well as me. How do I cope erm lets say on a bad day I don’t, I struggle hugely to get the motivation to carry out the same routine over and over. Its like my favourite old saying of “ground hog day” over and over. Everyday has to start and finish in the same way. It drives me crazy sometimes, wishing that for just once we could do something spontaneous.

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Not at all Happy at being took out

So basically for me routine is the difference in being a crazy, out of control frayed round the edges mum to a semi calm and collected mum who after a strong cup of coffee and 5 minutes of quiet is ready to face the day after the school run. Until the end of the day that is. I love being a mum, I thrive on their happiness, watching them grow and learn and if I have to live with routines then so be it.

XX Leanne XX

A day out, an Uneasy mumsy Prospect ADHD -Anxiety 

As a parent you would be well versed in the art of preparing for a day out with the family or friends. What happens though and how do you prepare for a day out with a disabled child. For me by the time I get where we are going I look like a haggled miserable cow which can make me cranky so apologies in advance if ever I meet you on a day out…….

Feeding the swans, my heart was in mouth though

For me I find planning a day out really hard. Although our daughter is nearly 11 there is so much to think about

  • What time are we going, do we have hearing aids, are we dressed…I don’t know about your children but mine are typical slouch around until the last minute and then panic stations to get dressed. I usually get L motivated by having a race to see who can get dressed the quickest…I win most days 😊
  • Will she cope with where we are going…..Proberly not but perseverance is the key mum’s and dad’s!!! Keep repeating and try not to give in as if you have other children it’s not fair on them. This is hard but I use to give in all the time till my eldest said that I always changed the plans just because of L. Made me stop and think
  • How expensive is the day out? You see if I pay say £50 to get me and 4 children into an attraction how long will we manage to stay an hour, 2 hours? I tend to find free or very cheap but fun places like Redwings horse Sanctuary. 
  • What do I need to take… Soft toy, fiddle toys, baby wipes, snacks and drinks usually grace my rucksack…I gave up with having handbags as they became so heavy a good pretty rucksack to hide all the bits and bobs plus baby wipes and drinks and snacks for you as well as your children.
  • How far away is the destination…I have to factor in travel time so I can tell my daughter how long we will be, roughly how long we will stay. I try to show a map of where we are going or my daughter will now google it so she can see how far she is going. Sometimes this helps and sometimes it doesn’t but at least I have tried to keep some sanity for my own peace of mind. 

It’s time consuming and some days it’s mentally exhausting and quite often I just can not face the questions, the tears, the anxiety and the stress of leaving the house. I would love to take my girls out everyday but it’s just not that simple. I can get them up, dressed and out the door that’s not the problem, it’s the endless questions, my daughter getting anxious and frustrated that makes me feel is it really worth it. 

Our daughter with ADD and anxiety just does not cope with leaving the house. Even to see friends or people she has known since being a baby or having planned to go somewhere she knows well, this I find hard as most people don’t understand how hard it is some days and how hard it is to relax once we have arrived at our destination when all I really want to do is go home and go to bed and start again. 

I find it frustrating and upsetting as I feel my children have had a rubbish holiday due to not being able to go out as much as I would wish. You see ADD is not just a diagnosis on a piece of paper. It’s not an excuse or just another name for a naughty child. It’s bloody hard work, consuming, irritating, stressful, upsetting. It makes you feel as a parent a complete failure. It undermines family life even when you don’t want it to and the worst thing is that even as a parent there are days that you will blame yourself, your partner/husband and even your child for the emotions that you feel due to ADD. Anxiety also affects the whole family as well as being dehabilitating and scary for the individual. Anxiety has started to impact my daughter more and more the older she is getting and the more she figures the work out and understands a little more. The anxiety is because she feels out of her comfort zone, she can not cope with a change of scenery or me planning anything. As a mum I try to help by

  • Staying calm……. this is very hard to do when you have other children around. The anxiety felt by one child seems to have a wave effect and everyone feels sensitive to what is going on around
  • Try to plan….. harder said than done as life is flexible and plans are not ridged. I have started to write everything down for my daughter in a pocket diary so she can keep track of where she will be and what she is doing. If plans change though and as a busy mum I forget to alter the information then this idea works against me and I often feel I am back at square one
  • Don’t plan something for everyday……having a very busy schedule can work and going out most days can also help with hyperactivity and attention but I now feel that my daughter sometimes just needs days at home in her pj’s to play with her dolls and relax. Again this can backfire with sibling fights, boredom resulting in screamaing and stress but slowing the pace some days also gives me a chance to wind down and not have to be getting the kids ready and rushing about.
  • Don’t ask my daughter what she wants to do…..this could be construed as controversial but unless you are willing to do exactly what she has suggested you are just setting yourself up for a fall and an awful lot of stress if the activity they wish to do is not feasible. 

Sitting here now watching my daughter react to us going to the park this morning. She has known we are going for two days and up to last night it was all she could excitedly talk about but this morning the realisation has kicked in and my daughter is worried and rocking and hurting her younger sister because she is worried about who is going to be there, what time we are going, if it’s going to be wet, how long we will be, what can she take with her, anyone else have this?
It’s at times like this my heart breaks. My other children accept where we are going and can’t wait to go and have fun while L feels scared. Is it the right thing to take her out, how would I feel if I was made to go somewhere I really didn’t want to go….in honesty there is such a place and if I am told I need to go there my heart races, butterflies start up in my tummy, my palms get sweaty and my mouth feels dry. To have to feel these symptoms everyday for what you or I would deem trivial everyday life I just can’t fathom. I think my daughter is amazing to do the things she does and to have me making her do things though am I making her worse or helping her to overcome?

Days like this make it all worthwhile

Life with kids is amazing, awe inspiring, full of love, happiness, tiring, hard work, frustrating, heartbreaking, but we do our best we find what works and we do the best we can. It’s all we can do and even on bad days I hope my children know just how much I love them and how I would move heaven and earth if I needed to for them.

Happy Easter, hope you all get some rest and precious time with your children.

Xx Leanne xx

Perfect Parent, imperfect parent….Really??!!

 Is there any such thing as perfect parenting? Or is it just an outdated way of trying to make parents tick all the boxes and, when we can’t, making us parents feel like failures?For those without disabled children the list of guides, self-help books, factsheets and social media sites are endless. Round every corner there is advice for you to follow and ways to achieve that title of the perfect parent. For those of us with disabled children there is not so much out there on perfect parenting, but as a parent one thing is abundantly clear to me…. not every child is the same regardless of whether they are disabled or not and not every child is the one you will read about in baby books. Why? Because they are all as unique as each other. Having four children really makes you see this. Not one of them has developed at the same rate, according to statistics, or even experience life and their environment in the same way. 

 

I could read a range of fact sheets, views, blogs, and websites and feel that I am a failure as a parent. I can look at the parents around me and compare my parenting skills to theirs and find myself lacking when it comes to being that perfect parent. I have high spirited girls who love to interact with the world around them but because they have hearing loss they are louder, one has ADHD so her behaviour is not the same as everyone else, she stands out but that does not make me an imperfect parent!!! It makes me a parent, a human being, a person doesn’t it? 

How can there be a thing called perfect parenting? Don’t most mums and dads  think they are doing the best that they can? The media, social media, specialist’s and family members all play a huge part in making us feel like we have to conform to the image of a perfect parent when in fact we are all as unique as our children and as a parent of four girls I feel I am learning new ways to parent my children every day by trial and error not by following some guide or book on the subject. 

 The last 13 years have really been a learning curve and it’s been really hard to not compare myself to that perfect parenting idea where your children do what is considered the right thing/way to do something… treading water here as I can honestly say I have not read a parenting book since my eldest was four years old. Saying that, light hearted programmes are now being made such as the recent “Parenting for idiots” on channel 4 showing even famous faces have parenting blunders. This makes me smile but makes me wonder why we still try to live up to expectation which leads us to doubt ourselves and can in some cases lead us parents to feel like we cannot cope!

 Raising our children today is very different from when my parents raised me 30 years ago, more of us parents work, technology plays a huge part in our lives and parenting has changed with advances in knowledge. Surely it’s time to be more accepting and not put people into boxes, classifications or categories. In my opinion there shouldn’t be this pressure to be like everyone else. We shouldn’t feel pressured to conform to a set of ideals which we can be seen as failing in. None of us are failures. Religion, age, personality, traditions; we’re all unique so why can’t our parenting skills be viewed as unique? 

I feel perfect parenting is sneaking into your child’s room at the end of the day to gaze on them sleeping and feeling a huge rush of love for them no matter what has been thrown at you that day, its taking care of them, protecting them even when you have hospital visits and you don’t know what the outcome will be. It’s watching them grow and learn and being there to catch them when they fall.


 Parenting skills and Disabled children……

Having disabled children who are seen as different and challenging really impacts on how society views me. One noticeable trait of being a mum to a child with hearing loss means that I have to speak louder than other mums. This used to be really embarrassing when out with other parents at toddler groups etc., my children are louder than others and the old saying children should be seen and not heard would never fit with my girls. Then there’s ADHD which has so much stigma attached to it mostly due to the way it has been viewed in the past as a naughty child and of course that old philosophy of bad parenting.

Am I a bad parent? Does struggling to raise a unique, beautiful child struggling day to day with memory loss, impulsiveness and a range of associated ADHD comorbidities make me an imperfect parent? I do not view myself as the perfect parent but I am not a failure because of it. I try to remember that I am unique, I am not perfect but I am raising my children the best way that I can with help from friends and family and being the best mum that I can be. 
X Leanne x 

http://www.leannesihm.wordpress.com 

 

ADHD super Power….Hyper Focus

Sitting here listening to the steady beat of the raindrops outside I am transported to a place of quiet and relaxation and harmony. Hang on a minute its the half term holidays!!!!! whats going on even when my other three children are outside playing my daughter with ADD is always about hanging on my every word, movement, talking non stop, being bored wether she is medicated or not as she does not cope well with the change in routine that is the school holidays.

 Panic stations creep in maybe she has gone outside without me knowing or maybe she is downstairs with the scissors for art and omg I left her unsupervised ARGH

Heart in mouth I literally leg it downstairs and then stop dead. When will I learn….its nothing bad. You see 30 minutes ago I came upstairs while she was starting another one of her art projects. Art is her passion she loves to draw and make and show. Biased mummy that I am I even have some of her pictures on the wall framed. So amongst the turbulent feelings that split second of realisation has caused I realise I left my daughter to do arts and crafts and as far as I know she is still there. Of course this does not stop the panic… having a child who is impulsive means hardly a minute goes by without me worrying what she is going to do next and even though she is nearly 11 that has not changed, factor in the memory, concentration and emotional factors of ADHD/ADD its hard to grasp this alien concept that means she can stay focussed and in one place for more than 5 minutes.

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Art is definitely a Focus….

Whats this I hear you say….shes’s sitting still, concentrating, focused on one thing instead a myriad of different tasks in a matter of minutes. Maybe the ADD / ADHD is not there? Maybe its a misdiagnosis well no its actually something that is real and quite amazing and known by some as an ADHD super power…. Its called Hyperfocus…

What is Hyperfocus?

A short definition from http://www.healthline.com is

“Hyper focus is the experience of deep and intense concentration in some people with ADHD. ADHD is not necessarily a deficit of attention, but rather a problem with regulating one’s attention span to desired tasks. So, while mundane tasks may be difficult to focus on, others may be completely absorbing”

I can see why this symptom of ADHD could be misinterpreted. Heck I didnt even know it existed until I started a course in ADHD awareness. I was never told by the ADHD nurse about Hyper focus. I spent moments grappling with my decision to medicate and attend appointment’s when this symptom popped up, was I wrong was she in fact fine and not have a neurodevelopment disorder??  I thought she was just being stubborn. Talk about learning something new everyday and giving your self a heart attack. There is no way I would have put Hyper focus as part of the ADHD.

What does Hyper focus mean for my daughter and us?

Firstly hyper focus affects us all. This peculiar symptom of ADHD can cause arguments and stress within the family. My daughter is so focussed on the task at hand that sometimes its a real struggle to get her to move onto something else. In the case of art work this is fine I don’t mind her doing art for as long as she likes as she is expressing herself and learning from the environment but its when the hyper focus gets stuck on things like the maths games on the laptop. Again you would not necessarily think that would be an issue but when she is so focussed on finishing first one level then the next and so on and so on it is very difficult to try and get her to relinquish the laptop so that she can do reading which is just as important for her to do as it builds her knowledge of language and aides her language skills. Plus she becomes completely shut of from the world around her and as the definition says very absorbed, yes she is quiet but she also can’t answer questions and can become angry and frustrated if the laptop is taken away as it is every evening at least an hour if not more before bed.

Hyper focus can be viewed by some as an amazing ability and it is when its in the right context and its something that empowers my daughter. The amazing confidence and love that she has for the art that she does is an amazing thing. There are times that I love to sit and watch the magic take hold of her. Watching a picture emerge and seeing the focus and dedication she gives the project to make it the best she can is amazing. But for those of us around a child or adult who has it its also frustrating, annoying, upsetting, it winds up siblings, it quite frankly winds me up sometimes. Nasty arguments that can start as a result of someone trying to join in with my daughter are not for the faint hearted. Its almost like she is startled out of a trance and that invokes all sorts of feelings to bubble up due to the interruption, her concentration is broken and it can feel like hell on earth.

So Super power or not?

I think that it is a super power if it can be directed in a positive way but as with everything there will be days when the super power strikes and its the villain not the hero who has come out to play and to be honest i am not sure how I really feel about that…..

take care

x leanne x

 

 

ADD Our way…..Holistic Therapies can They Help?

When it comes to therapies in my mind the best ones are the Holistic ones. In situations where your child’s disability is not deemed significant enough for therapies through the health care system or if alternative treatment options are not offered or available Holistic massage is an avenue I would recommend. Massage is a fabulous therapy suitable for nearly all. Massage therapies are about healing the body and the mind using positive touch to receive tension and relax allowing the body to heal itself.

They have not only helped my children in ways explained below but they have also given me a purpose, something to concentrate on and a way to contribute to other parents and children living with disabilities.

As a parent trying to do the best for my children is always at the top of my list. I am their protector, their teacher as well as their mother. For me having disabled children has had a profound effect on who I have grown to become. Before the disabilities I worked full time, I then had children and went back to work part time. Work fitted around children until it came to the point where work no longer fitted around the myriad of hospital appointments. After finding Holistic therapies I decided to train in Holistic Massage with the main purpose being to aide mine and other children and their families .

As a parent I had never really considered the benefits of massage before, I used to have reflexology on my feet whilst pregnant but that was as far as my knowledge went although I was always intrigued as to how a therapist could tell I had a bad back from my feet and I always found it relaxing and felt better in myself afterwards. Massage has long been documented as having a profound positive effect on the mind and body as far back as 3000 years especially in the East.

Leanne Brown

So when I felt lost in a world of confusion and loneliness I began researching how best to help my child diagnosed with ADD while trying to understand what the diagnosis meant for my daughter. One answer that kept coming back was Holistic therapies and how the benefits of massage could really help with some of the symptoms. As a parent and a Therapist I have found the main benefits of Holistic and Indian head massage for a child with ADD are:

  • calming, aides deeper relaxed breathing
  • relaxes stiff, tired, tense muscles
  • aides concentration
  • aides sleep
  • aides circulation

There are lots more benefits for massage but for a child with ADD these are the most important benefits that they can receive from Holistic massage. My daughter has had regular holistic massage now for two years and while it is by no means a cure it has helped her considerably in times where nothing else has worked. Massage relaxes and calm’s which when you are on the go all the time and your mind struggles to switch off can be a god send. By relaxing and being able to settle her mind my daughter finds that her concentration unmedicated can improve as well as her overall wellbeing. I have found that my daughter can hold a lot of tension in her shoulders which leads to back and neck pain and headaches. Since having regular massage these symptoms have almost disappeared. Don’t get me wrong there are some days where massage just does not work or it can take an hour just to get her to sit still long enough but once she does the benefits far outweigh the negatives. My daughter is never forced to have a massage it is her choice and one that even as a parent I ask her permission. As a therapist I am client led which means I follow their lead.

 Massage should never been seen as something to be forced into but as a choice that the child can make for themselves. This chance to make a choice themselves empowers them and can lead to increased confidence. 


Another great therapy that we have found works well is Story Massage. This is where we put 10 easy and simple massage moves to her favourite songs and stories and the effects are positively fab!!! This type of Massage therapy is one the whole family can get involved with and can have a positive effect on family relationships especially the relationship between siblings which can be charged and strained at best. It gets the whole family having fun while using positive touch to bond. Something which can be difficult in todays society. Story massage also gives my daughter a voice, a way to channel her feelings and it enables her to tell me stories she has made up or how she is feeling as she is talking while giving me a massage……yes mums can have a story massage too!!!!

Find out more about our journey at http://www.leannesihm.wordpress.com

x Leanne x

 

A mothers Decision…..ADD

Life can sometimes get in the way of writing or having the time to have 5 minutes in which to think and just breathe. 

I have spent the last couple of weeks as a mother of a child with an ADD diagnosis second guessing my role as a mum and the decisions that we have made as a family to help her since she was diagnosed. It hard thinking that 

  • you may have made a mistake
  •  maybe she’s not got anything wrong
  •  maybe she’s not that different 
  • Was she misdiagnosed 

When our daughter was diagnosed aged 7 it was a shock. It’s not something that we were expecting. What could be the source of our daughters symptoms was never really discussed and so I never looked into it. She had the sensorineural hearing loss and was seeing a consultant because of the hearing and for a long time we were told it was to do with the hearing. 

ADD came as a completely alien and unknown word but I trusted in the system and as a result aged 7 our daughter was diagnosed and put on medication. I remember going for a drink in the hospital cafe after and looking at my husband but not hearing what he was saying.

 At that moment I remember I felt like the biggest failure …..


As with certain medications our daughters eating habits have been drastically altered. Bottom line she won’t or can’t eat enough. So while waiting for a paediatric appointment we have taken the decision to not medicate at weekends. As the drugs she has leaves her system after 7 hours we felt that she would benefit from time out to help with her weight and food. Oh my god she does not stop eating she grazes all day on a Saturday and Sunday. She won’t eat large meals as she gets anxious about it but she will snack from when she wakes up at 4am until bedtime at 8pm. 

It makes you realise just how much of an effect the medication has though. I have found it tough and that she is a lot like Jekyll and Hyde. Without medication

  • She’s touchy feely to the point of annoying and it’s very inappropriate 
  • she can’t control her impulses and will do things out of the ordinary,picking up knives, throwing things, attacking her sisters and me, running outside
  • she walks around swearing, screaming  
  • she can’t sit still long enough for a story, watch a film or play
  • she’s even worse coping with change, authority and general family life. 

But she eats!!!!

It’s hell…..my other children are not like this at all. Maybe she is just making it up but the wild look in her eyes can be scary. It’s like she does not see me or hear me. She looks right through me with her eyes rolled up into her head and the noise levels….I have never heard a child get so high pitched. Her behaviour can be so irrational that Unmedicated we stay in the house. Unpredictability coupled with bad behaviour and the hearing loss would mean the chances are higher than normal that something bad would happen and so I feel for my sanity it’s safer to stay at home but at least she is eating!!!

But I feel so run down and emotional it’s all I can do some days to get up. Having no respite at the weekends really does a number on my mood for the rest of the week. Am I a bad mum for eagerly wanting my daughter at school Monday morning? Is it some kind of failing in my part,  I should be able to look after her, protect her, care for her? Shouldn’t I? I can’t afford good and bad days I have to keep it together…..People who see me must think I am just a moody mum especially at school pick up at the end of the day but it’s that knowing that the shouting, screaming will all start again once she is home and that I will be counting down the hours, minutes until she can go to bed and that’s not a routine or a state of mind that any parent should be subjected to. We should enjoy the time we spend with our children shouldn’t we? 


All that said and done as I climb out of the black hole I have sunk into the last few weeks I have to tell myself I am not super women, I do the best I can with help from friends and family. 

 

The days were my daughter snuggles up and tells me she loves me are the moments that I cherish and hang on to. 

Please feel free to get in touch 

Take care 

x Leanne x

Learning to adapt and play

Play….such a simple, non threatening little four letter word but for me it can be like a volcano that’s waiting to erupt. As any parent of a child with ADD / ADHD knows finding an activity or toy that can provide even 10 minutes of concentration is like liquid gold. Concentration problems, memory issues, frustration, lack of understanding, impulsiveness can all case problems when it comes to play


Play is how our children learn and make sense of the world around them. From dolls and cars, games and building blocks, toys and games allow our children’s imaginations to run wild and learn. This is no different for a child with ADD. As a mum I am always on the look out for inexpensive fun and creative ideas of play. This has become harder the older my other children have gotten but it’s simple for my ADD daughter. Why, because it has taken me 5 years to work out her triggers, what amuses her (talking toys), what irritates her (board games) and what play activities are best to just completely avoid. 

There is no manual or written guide about this, it’s down to us as parents to discover unique and inspirational ways of entertaining our children. But with Christmas just round the corner maybe some idea’s here can help…….

  •  Play to your child’s strengths – for us this is our daughters artist side I always make sure to have on hand pens and paper, encourage their interests as this will give them much needed confidence.
  • Story massage – for us story massage is a family affair. The children can write their own stories and then massage each other using 10 simple moves. Story massage is an activity the whole family can get involved with and it can promote relaxation, imagination and confidence. (See previous blog for more info)
  • Try to avoid games and activities that you know can cause a negative reaction- for us this is board games, I got so fed up of them being thrown around the room I stopped buying them. Plus games that require more than 1 player can cause frustration, irritation, arguments, upset
  • Lego – Buy the bigger duplo sets – you may be told they are big and babyish but once the Lego has been played with and it’s time to put away, or if something happens and the legos gets thrown around the room….then the duplo is easier to find and clear up reducing your stress and frustration in having to find tiny bricks.
  • Outside – even in cold weather my daughter loves to be outside. This also allows her to let of steam so to speak as long as she is wrapped up warm she is outside discovering what a change in season does to the outside world around her and it gives you a 5 minute break so have a cuppa tea and breathe. 
  • Sensory toys – there is now a huge push for toys for disabled children which is great but when your child has an unseen disability this is hard. I have found that the cheap and inexpensive fiddle toys are invaluable. Stress balls (you can make your own) stretchy men anything that’s small (watch out for small parts) can entertain and keep little fingers busy.
  • Interactive toys – some of these last longer than others but I find with our daughter that if she can interact with a toy she is entertained for longer. Some toys now you can record messages on them which is great as kids respond to love and praise.
  • Wooden games/toys – the traditional wooden games and toys are more robust I feel for a child which may throw or have a habit of breaking. Food items for a shop, Wooden games such as Jenga can all withstand most things. 
  • Books – this was another hard one for me, to long and frustration would creep in and to boring I would get told to shut up 😡 pick books which your child is intrested in as it may hold their attention a little longer and do the funny voices….it keeps them entertain and allows a little longer before boredom creeps in. 
  • Allow for breakages – accidents wether intentional or not are going to happen. Yes it’s frustrating and yes you will feel angry and learning to accept this part is the hardest but working out a suitable punishment is key. I refuse to buy another once it’s gone it’s gone and while I still get shouted at my daughter knows this. 

For those who love to think outside the box diaryofaplayfulchild.wordpress.com has some great ideas that you can adapt for children with special needs and disabilities. We have adapted most of the ideas here and used them with an 10, 11, and 12 years olds with great effect. 

For us story massage, teddies and dolls bring the best play experiences. I have found that for toys my daughter is better fixed and focused on what she likes compared to her siblings. She can become almost obsessed by them though which can cause issues if it gets broken or goes missing. At the end of the day every child is different and are all into different things. My four are no different in this. 


Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment or follow my blog http://www.leannesihm.wordpress.com

 Take care all 

X Leanne x