Story Massage…..Imagination, Fun for All

Story Massage…… a wonderful massage therapy based activity that can be shared by the whole family. Wether we are singing songs, nursery rhymes or just telling stories for the last two years Story massage has given my children so much joy for the spoken language as well as becoming the staple relaxation method used in our house.

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Story massage was created by its founders Mary Atkinson and Sandra Hooper since 2007 to promote activities using positive touch within the home, school and wider field. These two amazing ladies run a training course which is where I first learnt how to blend 10 simple massage moves with stories. Story massage is used within some schools curriculum, care homes, respite, therapy session’s and by parents all over the world. Being such an adaptive skill set to have it can be used in any language and is especially wonderful to use with special needs and disabilities.

  •  Two daughters who have a mild sensorineural hearing loss and as such the positive touch used in story massage and the contact means that they are able to hear and feel the story.
  • Another of my other daughters has a hearing loss and ADHD and I find that the end of the day s a great way of using story massage to wind down and aide with calming ready for sleep.
  • I also have a daughter with no hearing impairments or disabilities who is just a teenager and she loves to make up stories and show her skill’s.

There is no age limit, no discrimination just respect, relaxation and fun. A great activity that can be shared by all.

For me story massage has enable my children to not only learn to positively interact with each other but to also aide their speech and language skills, phonic’s, writing and story telling skills, their concentration,  the ability to relax and focus, being able to learn about the environment around them and it is a skill that they will go on to use with their own children one day in the very distant future…..

I also find story massage is great to use as a rainy day activity, while waiting in queues, car journeys, talking about new and exciting subjects and at bedtime there is nothing like settling down to bed with a soothing massage to my off key tones of Lavenders blue, twinkle twinkle and other favourites.

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With stories in mind there are some days when my daughter is a little more restless than usual and needs idea’s for a new and interesting story. We have the wonderful book from storymassage.co.uk which has nursery rhymes and stories with something for everyone and the massage moves are there for you which is a fantastic book to take out and about with you. Our’s travelled to Scotland last year where we enjoyed story massage camping style.

So always on the look out for innovative idea’s that I can use I was approached by a wonderful lady at Ignite Imagination’s . This lovely lady create’s wooden story cubes. I was sent a lovely bundle of 6 cubes, hand decorated with a picture on all 6 sides. Well my daughters love them!!!

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  • they came in a handy drawstring bag
  • 3cm cubed perfect for slipping in your handbag and don’t take up to much room
  • you are able to choose which themed cubes you would like
  • they are colourful and robust
  • provide endless material for fun stories

We have fairy tale characters, clothes, food and then three cubes with various object’s on them such as a ballon, car, shield, chair.

When I took them out of the bag my daughters aged 7 and 10 were there within minutes finding pen and paper, rolling the cubes and coming up with lovely stories to share. Here’s a story they made up using the cubes….

A unicorn imagined an egg (circle)

But she magicked a fried egg instead (drums)

Then she magicked some trouser’s and top (wave)

And decided to go pick some flowers ( sprinkle)

When it got dark, she magicked a light (fan)

And sat down to eat her egg ( calm)

Eliza Age 7

Using story massage as a daytime activity with the cubes has been great fun and something that I hope to share with other parent’s and children when sharing Story massage with them.

Leanne

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SATS, stress and Relaxation 

The last few weeks it’s been nothing if not stressed in our house. Our daughter with ADHD is about to face her SATS along with other year 6’s next week and for us as well as I suspect many it’s been a bumpy ride. 


Having ADHD means my daughter has symptoms of inattentiveness, impulsiveness, concentration and working memory problems. While medicated during the day once home the panic of not remembering can cause outbursts of anger and frustration making my job at home all the more harder in trying to keep her calm and in harmony with the rest of the family. This along with Anxiety, hearing loss and the general feelings of stress that taking exams can cause has me counting down the hours to the end of this coming week. 

Today we have done no revision if it’s not in her memory now then the chances are it’s not going to be in there. We have tried to keep her relaxed and calm not an easy feat. Repetition, outbursts and continually checking her bag, her schedule, where she is going and what she is doing is her way of trying to control something. Control is something I think we all look for and without it we can feel displaced. My daughter tries hard to control every aspect of her life that she can. It’s how she feels and even if it’s not always easy to live with her feeling out of control is even worse. 

We all remember exams and how they make us feel. I had an exam in December and I aged 33 was petrified. Afraid of failure, not being up to scratch and generally not believing in myself. To think that my 10 year old daughter is feeling the same emotions now as I did then is heartbreaking in itself. I wish they didn’t have to sit tests at this age. Isn’t it better to let them learn and progress at their own rate instead of pushing them to learn what they need to know for an exam? 

Anyway so no revision this weekend and no I don’t feel that makes me a bad mum. School are their to teach her academics I am here to teach her life skills. I am here to teach all of my children that life Isn’t just about revision and sitting tests. It’s about looking after themselves, working to their strengths and being happy and healthy. Stress can have such powerful symptoms both physically and mentally and do we really want our 10/11 year olds to feel this. 


Today we have had fun, relaxed and used story massage to be creative and to relax. Being able to share massage with my children is an amazing thing. Being able to help relieve some of the symptoms caused by stress and anxiety through fun and stories is great. Being able to talk through how we feel and put Massage moves to our words really brings my daughters imagination alive and helps her to put into words what she may otherwise struggle to express or express through anger and tears.  Find out more at http://www.storymassage.co.uk 

Hopefully by the end of the week we will all be feeling more relaxed. 

Take care

X Leanne x

A day out, an Uneasy mumsy Prospect ADHD -Anxiety 

As a parent you would be well versed in the art of preparing for a day out with the family or friends. What happens though and how do you prepare for a day out with a disabled child. For me by the time I get where we are going I look like a haggled miserable cow which can make me cranky so apologies in advance if ever I meet you on a day out…….

Feeding the swans, my heart was in mouth though

For me I find planning a day out really hard. Although our daughter is nearly 11 there is so much to think about

  • What time are we going, do we have hearing aids, are we dressed…I don’t know about your children but mine are typical slouch around until the last minute and then panic stations to get dressed. I usually get L motivated by having a race to see who can get dressed the quickest…I win most days 😊
  • Will she cope with where we are going…..Proberly not but perseverance is the key mum’s and dad’s!!! Keep repeating and try not to give in as if you have other children it’s not fair on them. This is hard but I use to give in all the time till my eldest said that I always changed the plans just because of L. Made me stop and think
  • How expensive is the day out? You see if I pay say £50 to get me and 4 children into an attraction how long will we manage to stay an hour, 2 hours? I tend to find free or very cheap but fun places like Redwings horse Sanctuary. 
  • What do I need to take… Soft toy, fiddle toys, baby wipes, snacks and drinks usually grace my rucksack…I gave up with having handbags as they became so heavy a good pretty rucksack to hide all the bits and bobs plus baby wipes and drinks and snacks for you as well as your children.
  • How far away is the destination…I have to factor in travel time so I can tell my daughter how long we will be, roughly how long we will stay. I try to show a map of where we are going or my daughter will now google it so she can see how far she is going. Sometimes this helps and sometimes it doesn’t but at least I have tried to keep some sanity for my own peace of mind. 

It’s time consuming and some days it’s mentally exhausting and quite often I just can not face the questions, the tears, the anxiety and the stress of leaving the house. I would love to take my girls out everyday but it’s just not that simple. I can get them up, dressed and out the door that’s not the problem, it’s the endless questions, my daughter getting anxious and frustrated that makes me feel is it really worth it. 

Our daughter with ADD and anxiety just does not cope with leaving the house. Even to see friends or people she has known since being a baby or having planned to go somewhere she knows well, this I find hard as most people don’t understand how hard it is some days and how hard it is to relax once we have arrived at our destination when all I really want to do is go home and go to bed and start again. 

I find it frustrating and upsetting as I feel my children have had a rubbish holiday due to not being able to go out as much as I would wish. You see ADD is not just a diagnosis on a piece of paper. It’s not an excuse or just another name for a naughty child. It’s bloody hard work, consuming, irritating, stressful, upsetting. It makes you feel as a parent a complete failure. It undermines family life even when you don’t want it to and the worst thing is that even as a parent there are days that you will blame yourself, your partner/husband and even your child for the emotions that you feel due to ADD. Anxiety also affects the whole family as well as being dehabilitating and scary for the individual. Anxiety has started to impact my daughter more and more the older she is getting and the more she figures the work out and understands a little more. The anxiety is because she feels out of her comfort zone, she can not cope with a change of scenery or me planning anything. As a mum I try to help by

  • Staying calm……. this is very hard to do when you have other children around. The anxiety felt by one child seems to have a wave effect and everyone feels sensitive to what is going on around
  • Try to plan….. harder said than done as life is flexible and plans are not ridged. I have started to write everything down for my daughter in a pocket diary so she can keep track of where she will be and what she is doing. If plans change though and as a busy mum I forget to alter the information then this idea works against me and I often feel I am back at square one
  • Don’t plan something for everyday……having a very busy schedule can work and going out most days can also help with hyperactivity and attention but I now feel that my daughter sometimes just needs days at home in her pj’s to play with her dolls and relax. Again this can backfire with sibling fights, boredom resulting in screamaing and stress but slowing the pace some days also gives me a chance to wind down and not have to be getting the kids ready and rushing about.
  • Don’t ask my daughter what she wants to do…..this could be construed as controversial but unless you are willing to do exactly what she has suggested you are just setting yourself up for a fall and an awful lot of stress if the activity they wish to do is not feasible. 

Sitting here now watching my daughter react to us going to the park this morning. She has known we are going for two days and up to last night it was all she could excitedly talk about but this morning the realisation has kicked in and my daughter is worried and rocking and hurting her younger sister because she is worried about who is going to be there, what time we are going, if it’s going to be wet, how long we will be, what can she take with her, anyone else have this?
It’s at times like this my heart breaks. My other children accept where we are going and can’t wait to go and have fun while L feels scared. Is it the right thing to take her out, how would I feel if I was made to go somewhere I really didn’t want to go….in honesty there is such a place and if I am told I need to go there my heart races, butterflies start up in my tummy, my palms get sweaty and my mouth feels dry. To have to feel these symptoms everyday for what you or I would deem trivial everyday life I just can’t fathom. I think my daughter is amazing to do the things she does and to have me making her do things though am I making her worse or helping her to overcome?

Days like this make it all worthwhile

Life with kids is amazing, awe inspiring, full of love, happiness, tiring, hard work, frustrating, heartbreaking, but we do our best we find what works and we do the best we can. It’s all we can do and even on bad days I hope my children know just how much I love them and how I would move heaven and earth if I needed to for them.

Happy Easter, hope you all get some rest and precious time with your children.

Xx Leanne xx

ADHD super Power….Hyper Focus

Sitting here listening to the steady beat of the raindrops outside I am transported to a place of quiet and relaxation and harmony. Hang on a minute its the half term holidays!!!!! whats going on even when my other three children are outside playing my daughter with ADD is always about hanging on my every word, movement, talking non stop, being bored wether she is medicated or not as she does not cope well with the change in routine that is the school holidays.

 Panic stations creep in maybe she has gone outside without me knowing or maybe she is downstairs with the scissors for art and omg I left her unsupervised ARGH

Heart in mouth I literally leg it downstairs and then stop dead. When will I learn….its nothing bad. You see 30 minutes ago I came upstairs while she was starting another one of her art projects. Art is her passion she loves to draw and make and show. Biased mummy that I am I even have some of her pictures on the wall framed. So amongst the turbulent feelings that split second of realisation has caused I realise I left my daughter to do arts and crafts and as far as I know she is still there. Of course this does not stop the panic… having a child who is impulsive means hardly a minute goes by without me worrying what she is going to do next and even though she is nearly 11 that has not changed, factor in the memory, concentration and emotional factors of ADHD/ADD its hard to grasp this alien concept that means she can stay focussed and in one place for more than 5 minutes.

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Art is definitely a Focus….

Whats this I hear you say….shes’s sitting still, concentrating, focused on one thing instead a myriad of different tasks in a matter of minutes. Maybe the ADD / ADHD is not there? Maybe its a misdiagnosis well no its actually something that is real and quite amazing and known by some as an ADHD super power…. Its called Hyperfocus…

What is Hyperfocus?

A short definition from http://www.healthline.com is

“Hyper focus is the experience of deep and intense concentration in some people with ADHD. ADHD is not necessarily a deficit of attention, but rather a problem with regulating one’s attention span to desired tasks. So, while mundane tasks may be difficult to focus on, others may be completely absorbing”

I can see why this symptom of ADHD could be misinterpreted. Heck I didnt even know it existed until I started a course in ADHD awareness. I was never told by the ADHD nurse about Hyper focus. I spent moments grappling with my decision to medicate and attend appointment’s when this symptom popped up, was I wrong was she in fact fine and not have a neurodevelopment disorder??  I thought she was just being stubborn. Talk about learning something new everyday and giving your self a heart attack. There is no way I would have put Hyper focus as part of the ADHD.

What does Hyper focus mean for my daughter and us?

Firstly hyper focus affects us all. This peculiar symptom of ADHD can cause arguments and stress within the family. My daughter is so focussed on the task at hand that sometimes its a real struggle to get her to move onto something else. In the case of art work this is fine I don’t mind her doing art for as long as she likes as she is expressing herself and learning from the environment but its when the hyper focus gets stuck on things like the maths games on the laptop. Again you would not necessarily think that would be an issue but when she is so focussed on finishing first one level then the next and so on and so on it is very difficult to try and get her to relinquish the laptop so that she can do reading which is just as important for her to do as it builds her knowledge of language and aides her language skills. Plus she becomes completely shut of from the world around her and as the definition says very absorbed, yes she is quiet but she also can’t answer questions and can become angry and frustrated if the laptop is taken away as it is every evening at least an hour if not more before bed.

Hyper focus can be viewed by some as an amazing ability and it is when its in the right context and its something that empowers my daughter. The amazing confidence and love that she has for the art that she does is an amazing thing. There are times that I love to sit and watch the magic take hold of her. Watching a picture emerge and seeing the focus and dedication she gives the project to make it the best she can is amazing. But for those of us around a child or adult who has it its also frustrating, annoying, upsetting, it winds up siblings, it quite frankly winds me up sometimes. Nasty arguments that can start as a result of someone trying to join in with my daughter are not for the faint hearted. Its almost like she is startled out of a trance and that invokes all sorts of feelings to bubble up due to the interruption, her concentration is broken and it can feel like hell on earth.

So Super power or not?

I think that it is a super power if it can be directed in a positive way but as with everything there will be days when the super power strikes and its the villain not the hero who has come out to play and to be honest i am not sure how I really feel about that…..

take care

x leanne x

 

 

Learning to adapt and play

Play….such a simple, non threatening little four letter word but for me it can be like a volcano that’s waiting to erupt. As any parent of a child with ADD / ADHD knows finding an activity or toy that can provide even 10 minutes of concentration is like liquid gold. Concentration problems, memory issues, frustration, lack of understanding, impulsiveness can all case problems when it comes to play


Play is how our children learn and make sense of the world around them. From dolls and cars, games and building blocks, toys and games allow our children’s imaginations to run wild and learn. This is no different for a child with ADD. As a mum I am always on the look out for inexpensive fun and creative ideas of play. This has become harder the older my other children have gotten but it’s simple for my ADD daughter. Why, because it has taken me 5 years to work out her triggers, what amuses her (talking toys), what irritates her (board games) and what play activities are best to just completely avoid. 

There is no manual or written guide about this, it’s down to us as parents to discover unique and inspirational ways of entertaining our children. But with Christmas just round the corner maybe some idea’s here can help…….

  •  Play to your child’s strengths – for us this is our daughters artist side I always make sure to have on hand pens and paper, encourage their interests as this will give them much needed confidence.
  • Story massage – for us story massage is a family affair. The children can write their own stories and then massage each other using 10 simple moves. Story massage is an activity the whole family can get involved with and it can promote relaxation, imagination and confidence. (See previous blog for more info)
  • Try to avoid games and activities that you know can cause a negative reaction- for us this is board games, I got so fed up of them being thrown around the room I stopped buying them. Plus games that require more than 1 player can cause frustration, irritation, arguments, upset
  • Lego – Buy the bigger duplo sets – you may be told they are big and babyish but once the Lego has been played with and it’s time to put away, or if something happens and the legos gets thrown around the room….then the duplo is easier to find and clear up reducing your stress and frustration in having to find tiny bricks.
  • Outside – even in cold weather my daughter loves to be outside. This also allows her to let of steam so to speak as long as she is wrapped up warm she is outside discovering what a change in season does to the outside world around her and it gives you a 5 minute break so have a cuppa tea and breathe. 
  • Sensory toys – there is now a huge push for toys for disabled children which is great but when your child has an unseen disability this is hard. I have found that the cheap and inexpensive fiddle toys are invaluable. Stress balls (you can make your own) stretchy men anything that’s small (watch out for small parts) can entertain and keep little fingers busy.
  • Interactive toys – some of these last longer than others but I find with our daughter that if she can interact with a toy she is entertained for longer. Some toys now you can record messages on them which is great as kids respond to love and praise.
  • Wooden games/toys – the traditional wooden games and toys are more robust I feel for a child which may throw or have a habit of breaking. Food items for a shop, Wooden games such as Jenga can all withstand most things. 
  • Books – this was another hard one for me, to long and frustration would creep in and to boring I would get told to shut up 😡 pick books which your child is intrested in as it may hold their attention a little longer and do the funny voices….it keeps them entertain and allows a little longer before boredom creeps in. 
  • Allow for breakages – accidents wether intentional or not are going to happen. Yes it’s frustrating and yes you will feel angry and learning to accept this part is the hardest but working out a suitable punishment is key. I refuse to buy another once it’s gone it’s gone and while I still get shouted at my daughter knows this. 

For those who love to think outside the box diaryofaplayfulchild.wordpress.com has some great ideas that you can adapt for children with special needs and disabilities. We have adapted most of the ideas here and used them with an 10, 11, and 12 years olds with great effect. 

For us story massage, teddies and dolls bring the best play experiences. I have found that for toys my daughter is better fixed and focused on what she likes compared to her siblings. She can become almost obsessed by them though which can cause issues if it gets broken or goes missing. At the end of the day every child is different and are all into different things. My four are no different in this. 


Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment or follow my blog http://www.leannesihm.wordpress.com

 Take care all 

X Leanne x