How can you Best Prepare for a Hospital Operation?……You, Me and ADHD

How do you prepare your child with ADHD and Hearing loss for a visit to the hospital for an operation?


This has always been one of my biggest worries while raising my daughter’s. L who has  ADHD and Hearing loss lives daily with symptoms of memory problem’s, understanding, concentration, then there’s her limited ability for reasoning, awareness of herself and her surroundings, Anxiety, Tick’s and just plain old fear of the unknown.

She is in Freak out mode…..

Having had an operation for Grommets when she was 2 years old our daughter although no stranger to the hospital has never actually stayed in or undergone any other procedures since she was 2. So now she is worrying and her anxiety levels are through the roof. Cue major meltdown’s, tantrum’s, tear’s, shouting, irritability and unable to sleep. Basically what we go through every day just now heightened to major proportions. so we have come up with a plan.

  • To talk about the operation as much as possible – whats happening, how they will do it, how long it will take, where she will be. This has meant a lot of research on my behalf watching online medical procedures yuck!!! so I can talk her through it.
  • Reassure – trying not to get annoyed by the amount of questions being asked, the outbursts and trying not to loose my temper after repeating the same sentence about 20 times
  • Hospital pre op visit – we had this yesterday and I made sure that she had lots of chances to ask question’s , see the ward and I also wrote down everything the play specialist said so that we can go over it again at home
  • At the outset I said that she could have a new teddy who could go to hospital with her. she keeps asking for it now but with another 2 weeks until the big day I am holding off relinquishing it.
  •  Keep her mind focused on something other than the operation. Am sure the bribes will start soon about how she will go if she can have this or I’m not going unless I get this but i’ll just stand my ground as come the morning she has forgotten her demands of the previous day.
  • Keep daily life as normal as possible – no sudden changes, no surprises, everyday is planned and written down to give L some control over what is happening.

As mentioned  anxiety levels have been increasing steadily for a few months. Hospital appointments over and done its been really important to write everything down and try and explain whats happening to L as much as possible. Even so there is no fool proof plan. Anxiety for a child can be a formidable opponent affecting every aspect of their life. Our daughter struggles with anxiety on a daily basis and it can manifest itself in any situation from what to have for breakfast, to whats happening after school to how we spend our weekend’s. Everyday has to be planned and written and fingers crossed that plans don’t change.


The mental, emotional and physical effects of anxiety can be really difficult for our daughter and its hard as a family living with someone who has this condition. Going for an operation has really ramped up these feeling’s and just today I was receiving text messages about how sick she felt and how she had a headache. At times like this I try to be supportive, but also hard in a way as I don’t want Anxiety to be a ruling factor in her life. I send her love and tell her that she is ok and once she has these she seem’s to feel a little better and the monster’s lie sleeping till sometime.

The next few week’s are going to be really difficult for all of us, especially L. Will keep you posted

xx Leanne xx


Sometimes I cry…Raising Disabled Children

I haven’t written in a while, life has just seemed to overtake me one week blending into the next. I keep going from one day to the next in the same routine as though I was stuck in a ground hog day. Do you ever get fed up of doing the same thing day in day out? Be Honest…..I do it drives me wild to know that when I open my eyes the day will start the same as every other and that by trying to change anything I just make life more stressful for myself. It can at times seem like we are living with a Dictator. Having 4 girls anyway the hormone levels in this house can be through the roof, factor in one who has ADHD, memory problems and other issues and I am surprised the husband hasn’t moved into the shed.


Now I know what some of you may be thinking, Am I just whinging? Am I being silly? Am I weak? A bad mother? The answer is no…..Anyone raising a child with any form of disability knows that you have to adapt, you have to work around their quirk’s, their behaviour and in most cases you really do have to just make the best of any situation you can. Its really hard to do this and still feel that you are being a good parent. I worry every day the effect that one Childs disabilities is having on her siblings. I also worry that my other daughters perceive their sister as the favourite, the one who gets all the attention wether its good or bad. I worry about the relationship’s my children forge, the way they are at school, I get angry at the stupid things they argue about and at the end of the day I cry. I cry for the things one daughter has lost, I cry about the disabilities, I cry from the stress, I cry and there is no shame in that at all.


Having 4 children is hard, I am judged for having four children and at times I feel its my fault they are who they are, but is it?  I also feel really anxious when my youngest acts out. I feel certain that its learnt behaviour being 4 years younger than her sister she has grown up watching that one can be naughty and still get attention, but it scares me what if she also has ADHD?

So how do you split yourself and be in effect two different parents at the same time?

Truth is 14 years later I still have not found the answer. I struggle day in and day out with how to best be a parent. The way I parent is constantly evolving and changing to adapt with the needs of my children but it is also constantly being observed by those on the outside. Not all disabilities can be seen as is the case with my daughter’s. They do not sound any different, look any different and at times do not act any differently to other children. It isn’t until you look closer that you start to notice the subtle differences, the hearing aids, the slight lisp to words, the forgetfulness of one, the behaviour at certain times of day when medication has worn of, the Anxiety living life. If you passed my children in the street you wouldn’t notice anything other than 4 sister’s.

This is perhaps the hardest part of being their mum, unless you are living the life that I am you can not fully understand how exhausting it is trying to keep everything together. That smile on my face at 9am is one of relief not happiness. The frown at the end of the day is born of tiredness and also stress. That sigh is after another round of upset screaming, or a round of abused hurled my way that makes me feel like walking out. In fact I have come to realise that in trying to raise them, teach them and make sure they get every opportunity to be independent I sometimes need to take a step back, read some of my blogs and realise once again I am not wonder women, I am not a magician I am a mum and one that will adapt, fight and evolve even while feeling like I can’t do it anymore. Its not what I signed up for but do you know what, these children amaze me everyday, there tears but also laughter, theres anger but also love and even on a bad day I will always love and be in awe of my children.

xx Leanne XX

A Little bit Of Technology….At home with ADHD / Hearing loss

I want to talk technology. Its all around us and with the generations who come into contact with any type of technology getting younger how do we as parents decided whats best for our children?

Growing up I remember when our parents bought us a saga mega drive and we played the lion king on it. Thats one of my earliest memories of technology in our home. As I got older and started high school mobile phones started to appear but it wasn’t until I was 16 that I was finally allowed one which then paved the way for my siblings to have theirs. Move on 18 years since then and internet, gaming systems, mobile phones, tablets, laptops, plus many many more are all around us.


So when you have a child with disabilities and or learning difficulties how do you navigate this huge market to find the best devices to help your family? How do you decide when to introduce technology? How do you try and limit the impact of technology to reduce stress and anxiety.

Many parents on a daily basis rely on the technology that is now available to help them care for their children no matter their disability. For us living with hearing loss and ADHD present’s challenges when it comes to hearing outside, being able to listen to music and using technology to help reinforce learning, engaging with the world outside, schoolwork ect. That said there are so many things out there I wanted to share a few thought’s / idea’s

  • When do you give your child a mobile phone for instance? For us we decided that on starting high school this would be young enough to introduce the mobile phone. I didn’t see any reason for them to have one younger than this. We choose a mobile phone that we could link to our’s and so that we are able to control certain aspects. with a 4 year gap between the third daughter and the youngest this has caused upset but I stand by my guns. children need to learn phone etiquette and this can just add stress to an already fragile daytime routine.
  • Social Media? for Facebook the age is 13? but for me a child with special needs and or disabilities do they need the added stresses and pressure of social media? for my family no I don’t feel that they do, so for this reason my children do not have accounts, not that any of them have ever asked for one.
  • Educational games / laptops? I feel you don’t get a choice of wether you can or can’t introduce these. for a few years now I have noticed that the use of educational programmes on the internet has increased for homework and set by the schools. children are actively encouraged to use these programmes at home and do homework that is set. thats all well and good but for a child with ADHD and no concept of time and who can have trouble concentrating this can cause stress. on the other foot my youngest loves going on educational programmes that help her with spellings and maths.
  • Activity tracker’s? these are all the range at the minute and with adverts on tv showing children having fun it was only a case of time before one of my girls wanted one. we have recently bought the Garmin vivofit Jr. My youngest daughter is 8, has hearing loss and is really into visual items that she can interact with. The watch has an app which parents can use to add target’s, chores and see how active the child is. The chore part is my favourite, this is encouraging my daughter to get up and do the chores I would otherwise be shouting at her to do all by herself as she earns coin’s. you are able to set the coin level and the reward just like reward charts. you can also set reminders which is great.
  • Listening to music? For those with hearing loss / deafness the which is a fantastic site and well worth becoming a member of no matter your Childs level of hearing loss, have a technology test drive where you can apply to borrow and test products that you would like to see and try before you consider buying. after problems with headphones in our house we were looking around and recently tested some Aftershokz bone conduction headphones, and I must say they were fabulous. having four girls three with hearing loss they were fought over quite a bit but they stood up to the pressures of an 8, 11 and 14 year old using them. Having no lead to be pulled and messed around with added to the appeal. As for the sound and ease of use once the girls had connected them to their mobile phones they found the sound quality really good and for me an added bonus was they could still hear me if I needed to speak to them. The NDCS have a range of products that you are able to try and the service is easy to use.

If anyone has any more idea’s they would like to share please do get in touch I love to share and hear what may be beneficial to my girls.

Xx Leanne Xx

We Have to Believe in ADD Magic

Its that time of the year again, it’s December nearly the end of the year and as I sit here writing this I am starting to realise how shattered I feel. My whole year has passed in a flurry of hospital and check up appointments. living our lives from one appointment to the next is really starting to annoy me, it feels like I am losing time and year’s living a life based around my children disabilities. Do I sound selfish? Am I not better to spend my time thanking my stars that my children do not have more severe  need’s? in fact should I even be thinking and feeling this way at all, after all I decided to have children………


Having three girls with varying needs is exhausting no matter what those additional needs and disabilities are. Any parent who has to spend most of their time worrying, stressing, upset, nervous, anxious and being on that emotional rollercoaster should be damn proud of the things that they achieve daily, even if its just managing to see friends or tidying the house. Living, working and making a life for ourselves and our children can at times feel like an empty black hole. We don’t get thank’s for what we do, I feel like at times I am my daughter’s battering ram, they can’t take out their feelings on anyone else so the but stops with me.

Christmas is a magical wonderful time of year isn’t it? No Not all the time, sometimes it’s hopeless, energy zapping, bury your head in a pillow type of magical. Christmas does not herald the end to your daily routine’s in fact it makes these harder. I have to worry about medication and if we will have enough, I booked a Christmas food shop weeks ago…. did I order everything I need or am I going to have to go out and get it with the kids in toe? They break up from school on a Tuesday….a bloody Tuesday like thats not at all confusing for a child who is so use to routine is it….there’s going to be fall out from that I can tell you, I have booked tickets for a show which I dithered about doing so I settled on spending the money and making sure we are at the back near an exit just in case we need to leave…will it be worth it with the crowd’s and the change of routine? who know’s  Christmas can feel at times like a waste of time and so disappointing for me at least the children never seem to think so which is amazing.

 I just feel so sad that my year, and my children’s year’s can be counted down by the appointments my girls attend, from Audiology to paediatrician to ADHD Nurse to even school meeting’s. They all add up and whats even worse is its never ending and I am already booked to next August with Audiology appointments. There is no getting away from the fact that our family life is a plethora of hospital appointments intertwined with birthdays and that I am getting older and more cynical as time goes by.

BUT……….There is one thing that this family has not yet outgrown and that is the magic of Christmas. My 13 and 14 year olds love the magic even though they know there is no Santa and its nice that they are now starting to take part in the xmas shopping. As for the younger two 11 and 7 years Santa still very much exists and we have been having some great fun (me and dad that is) helping those naughty elves to get up to lots of silliness. In a world that can be dominated by the symptom’s of ADHD, the lack of concentration, the memory issues, the anxiety, the inattentiveness, the daydreaming, plus the hearing loss, and other medical concern’s, the worry of appointment’s that are still to come around, this little bit of fun and laughter that we all have down to a couple of little elves may seem to the on the outside desperate and silly but to us it is a break from the norm and it is something that I can do at the end of the day and know that come the morning my children will wake excited and happy at least until the elves are found and then the drudgery of the normal day comes back full force.

Here’s a hug for all the parent’s this Christmas time where ever you may be and how ever you spend this Christmas remember you are amazing……….

For more tip’s on how I cope at Christmas see our previous Blogs x